


Lightning in a Bottle

by captainegg



Series: Harry Potter Fests [4]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Korean Sirius Black, LGBTQ Character, Love Confessions, Love at First Sight, M/M, Non-Explicit Sex, Romance, Romantic Comedy, Sirius goes to therapy, Welsh Remus Lupin, Wolfstar Games 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-09 17:41:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 11,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27540175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captainegg/pseuds/captainegg
Summary: 29-year-old businessman Sirius Black finds himself falling in love with 23-year-old art student Remus Lupin, who turns Sirius' life upside down in a matter of seconds.
Relationships: Background Jily - Relationship, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: Harry Potter Fests [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2127531
Comments: 24
Kudos: 105
Collections: Wolfstar Games 2020





	1. Friday

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the **Wolfstar Games 2020** for **Team Touch**!
> 
> This fic has been through a lot of changes but I had so much fun working on this story. I would have loved to explore their dynamic some more but alas, for the sake of the voting process, I tried my best to keep the word count as low as possible.
> 
> Thank you so much to my teammates for cheering me on and listening to me babble about this late at night.  
> And thank you especially to R for beta reading this baby. I couldn't have done it without you 🤎
> 
> Title from Electric Love by BØRNS
> 
> I hope you enjoy!
> 
> My prompt:  
> 

Sirius stepped into the small store, the air heavy with the smell of candles, oil and incense. It was a rainy Friday afternoon and he had just finished his workday, now more than ready for his weekly massage. 

It had all started with a gift he got from his brother last Christmas. A voucher for a massage at a rather new but already well-known massage parlour. 

Sirius had been hesitant at first. 

His job was stressful and he could barely think of anything that would be as relaxing as a massage at the end of a hard work week but the thought of someone else touching him so intimately had scared him at first. But with encouragement from his best mate and his brother, Sirius had finally redeemed his gift. 

That had been months ago and now he was looking forward to his session every week.

His masseur was a lovely lady named Alice. She was young, similar in age to Sirius, and always smelled like patchouli and lemongrass. Alice had delicate, long fingers that always left Sirius a little drowsy at the end of his session.

He stripped out of his coat and hung it up on the hanger next to the door, taking a seat across the room and flipping through his phone. A few minutes passed until the door to his left opened and someone stepped out. Sirius tugged his phone away and lifted his head, ready to meet Alice face to face with a bright smile. 

But instead of Alice, he was met with a kind smile on an unfamiliar face. 

The guy was tall and lanky, big palms and long fingers, curly hair and whiskey-coloured eyes. He had freckles on his cheeks and nose. Latter looked a little crooked like it had been broken at one point and had never properly healed. A small golden septum piercing caught Sirius’ attention.

“You must be Mr Black. I’m Remus, your masseur for today,” the guy, Remus, said and stretched his hand out. He had a rough but comforting voice with a Welsh accent.

Sirius snapped back to reality, too caught up in the utter beauty in front of him, and inhaled sharply. “Uh, yes. That’s me. Isn’t Alice here today? I didn’t know that someone else was working today besides her,” he said and scrambled to his feet, grabbing the guy’s hand firmly. His skin was soft and his fingers wrapped around Sirius’ hand delicately. 

Sirius’ eyes trailed over Remus’ tattooed arm up to where the ink vanished below the sleeve of his shirt.

Remus’ smile quirked up in the corner of his lip and Sirius felt his heart drop a little. 

“Oh, I’m sorry. Alice isn’t in today but I’ll be her substitute if that’s okay with you. Otherwise, we can reschedule your session for when Alice is back at the parlour.” 

Sirius considered it for just a split second but the throbbing pain in his right shoulder had bothered him since Tuesday and he also didn’t want to walk back out into the pouring rain and rush all the way back to his car. 

He shook his head with a smile. “No worries. I think I’ll manage.” 

Remus nodded and then gestured for Sirius to follow him into the room where he just came from. The room itself was rather small, the light dim and smoke from an incense stick curled into the air, filling the room with subtle hints of patchouli and frankincense. Sirius inhaled deeply, his muscles had already started to relax and his mind slowly shut off. 

“You can undress and make yourself comfortable. I’ll be with you in a moment,” Remus said with a smile and left the room again, closing the door behind himself.

Sirius stood in the middle of the room for a second before he started to strip out of his clothes, neatly folding and placing them on the chair to his left. Sirius was taken by surprise by his own calmness. 

The first time he had come to the parlour, he had been anxious hours earlier and even once he got used to Alice touching him, there had always been a tight knot inside of his gut. 

Sirius climbed onto the massage table, covered his arse with the towel and wiggled around a little until he was comfortable. 

Remus joined him a minute later, the door falling shut behind him softly. 

Sirius lifted his head slightly and watched as Remus moved around the room. He couldn’t see much from his position but Remus’ lovely arse was just on his eye-level and Sirius caught himself staring at it a little longer than necessary. 

Remus came to a halt next to the lounger. “Comfortable?” he asked a smile in his voice and squeezed some oil onto his hands. 

Sirius nodded and lowered his head again. He could hear the slick sound of Remus’ palms rubbing against each other as he warmed up the oil. 

“So, uh, are you new here? I don’t think I’ve seen you around,” Sirius asked, rolling his shoulders.

“I’ve been working here for a few weeks but I’m normally not in on Fridays.” He added more oil onto his hands. “Anything that’s especially bothering you today?” Remus asked as he gently brought his hands down onto Sirius’ back, kneading the tense muscle.   
“My right shoulder,” Sirius groaned softly. “It’s been a bitch since Tuesday.”

Remus moved his hands up to Sirius’ shoulder, seeking out the tensed up muscles, gently digging his fingers in and working them loose. “Rough week at the office?” Remus asked as he moved from Sirius’ right shoulder over to the left. 

Sirius nodded. “My brother was on vacation which only made it worse. He can be an arse sometimes but he knows the business best out of the two of us. I’m just the pretty face most of the time.”

Remus chuckled and retrieved his hands to pour some more oil onto his palms, rubbing them together before he brought them down again. 

“Being the pretty face can be quite exhausting, I suppose,” Remus said as he dragged his hands along Sirius’ spine and down his back to the curve of his arse, digging his thumbs in the tensed up muscle tissue. 

“You have no idea,” Sirius sighed, realizing seconds later what he had just said. “Not that you’re not pretty. I’m sorry, I didn’t want to offend you.”

Remus laughed this time, the sound rich and deep, heavenly to Sirius’ ears. There was something warm starting to bloom inside his chest that he couldn’t quite put his finger on.

“No offence taken, and I guess I should thank you for the compliment then, huh? But how does someone like you end up as a businessman anyway? Modelling would be more up your alley, don’t you think?”

Sirius laughed and shook his head. “I’m flattered but no. I think my parents would have murdered me. My choice to go to university for literature instead of business was shocking enough besides a few other things. Thank god my brother was responsible enough for the both of us. I honestly don’t know where I’d be without him.”

“My parents were sad at first when I decided to study art and move away from home. But they got over it eventually.” 

He squeezed some more oil onto his palms. 

“Your brother sounds like a really nice guy. I sadly don’t have any siblings, it would have made living in the middle of nowhere a little more bearable. My best friend was a sheep named Larry.” 

Sirius snorted and Remus laughed loudly, gently shoving him. 

“Don’t laugh about Larry! He was the best, very friendly and a good listener. Even though he would always steal my biscuits and poop on me. My childhood wasn’t rosy per se but with a sheep as your best friend, the world is your oyster.”

Sirius laughed. “I don’t think I have ever heard someone use this proverb and actually mean it.” He turned his head slightly until he could glance at Remus. “And I’m sorry that your childhood sucked. Makes two of us.”

Remus smiled at him kindly, hair curling around his heart-shaped face. He looked a little like a cherub painted across a church’s ceiling, minus the obvious chubbiness of the angels. Sirius shut his eyes again, afraid Remus would think of him as some kind of creep if he kept staring at him.

“So you’re an artist, huh? What does an artist do in a massage parlour if you don’t mind me asking?”

Remus started to work his fingers down Sirius’ back and along his sides over his ribs. 

“Well, before going to university, I went on a trip to Asia. From China and South Korea to Thailand and India. I’ve seen most of it and I somehow fell a little in love with the cultures there. One day, I suddenly found myself in a massage workshop while I stayed in Bangkok. I honestly don’t remember how I ended up there,” he said with a chuckle.

Sirius hummed. “You’re the adventurous kind, hm?”

Remus laughed and shook his head. “Trust me, I was scared out of my fucking mind at times but it all paid off in the end. I never intended for me to actually become a masseur but I needed money and then Alice offered me this job. See, being an artist and a student doesn’t pay too well.”

“Oh. I’m sorry to hear that…,” he said quietly. “If it makes you feel any better, my parents didn’t give me a single cent while I was at uni. And they are the kind of people who would jet over to Paris for breakfast and then to Rome for lunch.”

Remus laughed again, this time softer but the sound was just as beautiful. “Thanks, I appreciate the sentiment.”

Sirius usually didn’t talk much during his massage sessions, let alone would lay himself bare like he just did. He would much rather let Alice do the talking while he hummed or nodded every now and then, his brain running on auto-pilot. 

But with Remus, he yearned for the conversation to keep going, surprised by how easily the words seemed to put themselves together on his tongue. He barely knew Remus but he somehow felt safe, the small room with its incense and candles an undisturbed bubble, shielding them both from the hectic pace of the outside world.

Remus gave his shoulders one last squeeze before he stepped back and dried his hands on a towel. “And that would be it for today, Mr Black. Feel free to rest for a few more minutes. I will be waiting for you outside.” 

He exited the room and left Sirius to himself.

Slowly coming back to his senses, Sirius slipped off the massage table and slowly put his clothes back on. After a quick last glance into the small mirror next to the door, he opened it and stepped out into the entrance hall. 

It had stopped raining and the last sunlight of the day draped the sky in golden colours, clouds painted across the canvas in fluffy strokes, pink curling around soft curves. 

Remus stood behind the counter, a pen in hand and absently scribbled something into a calendar. When he heard Sirius approach, he lifted his head with a smile. “I hope you enjoyed your massage. I know I’m not as skilled as Alice but I gave my best.”

Sirius smiled and retrieved his wallet from the back pocket of his jeans. “I enjoyed it very much, thank you.” He pulled out a handful of pound bills and handed them to Remus. “Keep the rest,” he said and grabbed his coat from the hanger.

Remus, bills in hand, stared at him with his jaw slightly dropped. “Mr Black, I can’t possibly accept that.” 

Sirius shrugged on his coat and slipped his wallet into his pocket. “Of course you can, Remus. It’s called a tip. Have a great day!” 

And before Remus could protest any further, Sirius was out of the door and on his way home, a big and goofy smile plastered across his face.


	2. Sunday

“Lily, believe me when I say that his hands were absolutely magical! I don’t think I have ever felt so relaxed in my entire life.” Sirius took a sip from his coffee and leaned back, eyeing his two best friends.

Lily smiled at him and picked up a piece of chocolate cake with her fork, placing it delicately between her red lips. “I’m glad you enjoyed yourself, Sirius,” she said, gently elbowing her husband.

“Absolutely,” James grinned, stirring yet another sugar cube into his mint tea. “And did you give him your number? For, you know,  _ private _ sessions.”

Sirius rolled his eyes with a groan. “Why are we friends again? And no, James, I didn’t. I don’t just give someone my number because they did their fucking job, okay? I went to get a massage, I got a bloody fantastic one and then I paid him. End of the story.”

James clicked his tongue with a knowing grin. “Sure,” he said slowly, picking up a loose strawberry off of his plate and drowning it in whipped cream. “You don’t just swoon about someone’s magical hands and their dashing smile and not give them your number. Or does love suddenly turn our womanizer coy? Who are you and what have you done with Sirius Black?” He laughed and ate his strawberry, licking his lips clean with a grin.

“Oh, don’t be ridiculous now, James,” Lily intervened, gently swatting James’ arm.

“First of all, I never said anything about his smile being dashing. I simply mentioned that he is a handsome bloke, nothing more. And second of all, the old Sirius Black would have stabbed your eye out so you should be thankful that he’s not here,” Sirius shot back, jaw set.

He was usually able to put up with James and his nonsense but something about his teasing simply rubbed him the wrong way today. 

Sirius had never been in love. He wasn’t even sure if he knew what love felt or even looked like.

Romantic movies made him feel sick and the idea of love at first sight was, generally speaking, the worst. 

He had been in a couple of relationships where the l-word had fallen only a few weeks or months into their relationship and Sirius had found himself revolted by the idea of someone actually loving him for who he was as a person. 

Even before their death, Sirius liked to blame his parents for his problems but this one was definitely their fault. 

Yes, they had been married for years but Sirius had never seen them smile at each other, only at Regulus. Nothing they ever did seemed to happen out of love. Instead, money and success had been the language of affection at Black Manor.    
Old habits died hard.

Sirius wasn’t as rich as some other blokes he knew but he was wealthy and people knew that. It sadly always attracted money-hungry suitors but over the years Sirius had developed quite a sense for these kinds of relationships and arrangements.

He wasn’t opposed to the idea of entertaining a sugar baby of some sort but in the end, he had always preferred to donate his money to charities instead of wasting it on unnecessary trips around the world, expensive dinners and tickets to high-society events.

Sirius made a mental note to call in at his therapist’s office tomorrow to schedule his next session. He apparently needed it sooner than he had originally anticipated.

“I’m sorry, James,” he said with a sigh and rubbed a hand across his face. “Work is just very stressful right now and I don’t even want to think about what awaits me tomorrow. Thank god that Regulus will be back on Tuesday. I don’t think I would be able to survive another week without him.” Sirius toyed with a piece of apple before he picked it up with his fork and slowly chewed on it.

Lily and James exchanged quick glances. “So, that Remus kid, is he your type?” Lily asked, taking a sip from her coffee. 

Sirius sighed again. He knew exactly what these two had in mind but he was too tired to fight it. Lashing out at James had already taken a lot of energy out of him and he wanted to save some for his walk back home. 

“I don’t know,” he said quietly, running his right index finger over the brim of his coffee cup. “He looked a little too young for me but age aside, I’d say yes. He’s not like any other guy I’ve been with so I wouldn’t necessarily say he fits my type but he was nice.”

Lily smiled and twirled a red curl around her index finger. “See! Nice is always a good starting point. And now you have something to look forward to all week. Isn’t that delightful?”

Sirius picked up another piece of apple. “I don’t know, Lils.” He dropped his fork again and ran a hand through his hair. “It’s been a while since I asked someone out, let alone went on a date. Who would even date an old bloke like me, anyway? I simply have lost my mojo,” he murmured, horrified.

James slammed his fist on the table, cups and plates clattered. “Sirius Orion Black, do not talk yourself down like that when I am around to hear it! First of all, you’re twenty-nine years old, that’s right. I said it. That’s not old, mate. You’re in your prime years. Secondly, you are a good looking bloke and you will probably look good for years to come. Maybe even better once your hair starts to turn grey. Like Logan Lerman, that kid who played Percy Jackson in that god-awful Disney adaptation. He has a grey streak in his hair and everyone is losing their marbles over him.”

Lily gently cupped Sirius’ hand and gave it a soft squeeze. “What James is trying to say is that you shouldn’t be worrying too much about what others think and just go out and live your life. You are attractive, you are funny, you are smart. And if Remus doesn’t see the real you, he’s not worth your time, Sirius.”

Sirius smiled. “Thanks, guys. I really needed to hear that.”

James grinned and gently kicked his shin underneath the table. “Go get him, tiger,” James said, a teasing tone in his voice. He suggestively wiggled with his eyebrows which earned him another elbow in the ribs from Lily.

“Don’t listen to him, Sirius. He’s talking utter nonsense,” Lily chirped with a smile and gently touched his hand.

Sirius sank into his seat with a groan and silently emptied his coffee cup.


	3. Tuesday

Sirius walked into his therapist’s office on Tuesday morning. He had rescheduled a handful of meetings for this session but Regulus had agreed to jump in for him in case Sirius needed more time or a good nap afterwards. Therapy always made him incredibly exhausted and moody.

He stripped out of his jacket and sat down in his usual spot on the brown leather sofa. 

Raindrops drummed against the window of Minerva’s office overplaying the relentless drumming of his heartbeat.

He eyed a leaf that was stuck to the side of his boot but decided to deal with it later.

His therapist, Minerva, sat across from him. She wore her grey hair in a tight bun, rectangular glasses that sat low on the bridge of her nose and a moss green cardigan.

“Sirius, it’s good to see you. Even though I didn’t expect to see you before next month,” she said with a smile, tapping her pen against the clipboard she was holding.

Sirius crossed and immediately uncrossed his arms and ruffled a hand through his hair. “I need your help.”

Minerva nodded. “And that’s what I’m here for.”

“That’s what I pay you for.”

“Do you want my help now or do you want to talk about our financial agreement? I’d be fine with both.”

Sirius grinned and lifted his hands defensively. “Touché,” he mumbled and ran a hand through his hair again. He had noticed that it was one of his ticks he had whenever he was nervous or uncomfortable. 

“So, what brings you here today? How have you been?” Minerva asked, her eyes fixed on Sirius with a smile.

Sirius debated for a moment whether he should make up an answer or be honest with her. After all, he was here for a very specific reason but he felt awkward about it. Talking about his feelings even in therapy was still hard for him. “I think I’m in love,” he blurted out, heart pounding against his ribs. 

Minerva raised her eyebrows and took a short note before looking at him again. “Sounds great, don’t you think?”

Sirius sighed, grinding his lower lip between his teeth while he tried to think of an answer. “The thing is, I don’t know what love feels like so maybe I just have inherited my dad’s bad heart and it’s starting to act up,” he joked dryly. 

The thought of being more like his father made Sirius feel a little sick. He would much rather be in love with a thousand strangers and have his heart broken a thousand times than be any more like him.

“Well, then. What are you feeling? I know this is not an easy task so take all the time you need.” Minerva jotted down another note while she waited for Sirius to answer.

Sirius sat back, head tilted upward to the ceiling as he tried to think. He went over proverbs and sayings, tried to recall those awful romance movies James made him watch but whenever he tried to grasp for a word, it slipped through his fingers or felt too heavy, too wrong on his tongue.

He sighed. “He makes me… he makes me feel excited about being alive.” Sirius sat up straight and ran his hand across his face with another sigh. “I go to bed at night, hoping to see him again when I wake up.” He couldn’t help the smile that tugged at his lips.

“That sounds great, Sirius. It’s nice to have something to look forward to, even if it’s just for the next day. One step at a time, very good.” 

She took off her glasses. “Anything else?”

“Yes,” he answered slowly, trying to find the right words for what he wanted to say next. “I’m afraid that I’m getting into this head over heels without calculating any risk, Minnie. It feels all so unreal, I don’t even know that guy. I saw him once and now I’m thinking that I’m in love? Great,” he said with a groan.

It was true, he did feel as if he was the main lead in a romance movie, living a loveless life filled with cigarette smoke and work until a handsome stranger came along to turn his world on its head. 

Sirius half-heartedly wished for it to be true. 

He would never admit to anyone how lonely he felt sometimes, hiding in his house behind expensive whiskey and thick walls. Having someone to share at least his bed with or even the smallest part of his life would be wonderful. 

But on the other hand, he was scared of trying something new, of going after someone and failing. 

A Black never fails, his father used to say, the words ingrained into the very essence of Sirius’ brain. He could even hear him say it, his posh accent made Sirius’ stomach turn uncomfortably.

“But that’s what life and especially relationships are all about, Sirius. Taking risks is scary, absolutely, but what awaits at the end is either something great or a lesson learned.”

“But can you even be in love with someone you barely know for a week? I feel ridiculous.”

Minerva put her glasses back on and smiled at him kindly. “I can’t tell you how to feel but if you’re not comfortable with calling it love, then don’t. Try to find a different word that works for you and seems less intimidating. I personally believe that there's no set time frame until you can love someone but your apprehension is very valid, Sirius.”

A different word. He could definitely do that. But where to find such a word?


	4. Wednesday

**Reggie  
** _ online _

Don’t be late  
_ 7:28 am _

No can’t do  
Traffic is a bitch  
_ 7:29 am _

I’ll get coffee on the way  
The usual for you?  
_ 7:30 am _

Yes  
_ 7:31 am _

Reggie  
Can I ask you something?  
_ 5:21 pm _

Does it change anything when I say no?  
_ 5:21 pm _

No, not really  
_ 5:22 pm _

Well, then  
What is it?  
_ 5:22 pm _

What does love feel like?  
_ 5:23 pm _

Why do you ask me that?   
I’m the last person who would know that  
_ 5:24 pm _

Shit, I forgot  
Sorry  
_ 5:25 pm _

**Lils  
** _ online _

Can I ask you something?  
_ 8:25 pm _

Sure!  
_ 8:25 pm _

What does love feel like?  
_ 8:27 pm _

It’s a bit like falling without being afraid  
_ 8:30 pm _

How do you know not to be afraid?  
_ 8:31 pm _

You don’t  
And that’s the beauty of it  
_ 8:32 pm _

But it’s also understanding the other blindly  
Approaching them in ways they understand  
_ 8:31 pm _

Love is, after all, about communication  
_ 8:32 pm _

**Jamie  
** _ online _

Can I ask you something?  
_ 8:26 pm _

Sure, what’s up?  
_ 8:26 pm _

What does love feel like?  
_ 8:29 pm _

Are you asking me the same question  
as Lily? Should I be worried?  
_ 8:29 pm _

Just answer the question, Jamie  
_ 8:30 pm _

And don’t ask Lily about her answer  
I want to hear what you think  
_ 8:31 pm _

Do you promise me to not make fun of me?  
_ 8:31 pm _

Who do you think I am?   
Of course, I will make fun of you  
_ 8:32 pm _

Just kidding  
I won’t  
I promise  
_ 8:33 pm _

It feels like fireworks exploding inside of you  
It’s exciting, intoxicating  
_ 8:35 pm _

Lily is the best thing that has ever happened in my life  
and nothing could ever come close to it  
_ 8:36 pm _


	5. Sunday

Two weeks later, Sirius was waiting for Regulus outside of _Prewett’s_ , a popular queer restaurant.

It was a weekly tradition between the brothers to go out to eat at least once a week, no business talk, just the two of them. It was something Sirius always looked forward to. Working with Regulus was great but running a business with your brother could put quite the strain on your relationship. 

Sirius spotted Regulus across the street, waved at him and snipped his cigarette to the ground, crushing it below the heavy sole of his boot. “Reggie, it’s good to see you,” he greeted his brother and gave him a short hug.  
Regulus glanced up at him through a curtain of black hair with a smile. He had similar facial features to Sirius. A slender and straight nose, high cheekbones, porcelain-like skin, stone grey eyes framed by long lashes. But unlike Sirius, Regulus had a small beauty mark underneath his left eye.

“Let’s get going, I’m starving,” Regulus said with a laugh and gently nudged Sirius in the side as he walked past him. They entered the restaurant and walked up to the front desk. “I have reserved a table for two under the name of Black,” Regulus said to the employee with a smile.

Sirius watched his brother for a moment, a soft smile draped across his own face. He and Regulus had come so far with everything they had to go through their entire life. There were times when he would have never thought that he and Regulus would make it in one piece and still talk to each other. Being pitched against each other, the favouritism, the sudden death of their parents. It had been a lot but Sirius was more than happy to still have Regulus in his life.

Regulus’ hand on the small of his back snapped Sirius back to reality. “You okay? his brother asked quietly. 

Sirius nodded. “I’m fine, just glad to have you, that’s all.”

Regulus laughed softly and swatted at him. “You big softie,” he teased and followed the waiter to their table.

Sirius turned to do the same when he spotted a familiar head of golden curls. Could it be? The person turned around and revealed a pair of honey eyes and freckled cheeks.

Sirius sucked in a surprised breath, stopping dead in his tracks.

_Remus._

He wore a rainbow apron, a long-sleeved white shirt with a small name tag attached to it and carried a tray filled with dirty plates and cups in one hand and a handful of menus in the other, navigating carefully around the room. 

Sirius dug behind a plant and followed Regulus to their table, trying his best to stay hidden from Remus’ sight. 

“We have a problem,” Sirius whispered once he came to a halt next to Regulus. His brother raised a questioning eyebrow as he took off his jacket and sat down.

“Remember that guy that gave me the massage the other day?” Sirius shrugged out of his jacket and draped it over the back of his chair before he sat down across from Regulus, his back facing the rest of the restaurant.

“The one you have literally not stopped talking about since then? Honestly, Sirius, I’m starting to get a little worried. Yes, of course I do. Why?” Regulus grabbed a menu and flipped it open.

“He’s here, Reggie!”

Regulus looked up. “What do you mean, he’s here? Like out for brunch? It’s Sunday, Sirius, that’s what people do, you know.”

“No, he’s working.”

“But I thought he’s a masseur?”

“Well, so did I.”

“Maybe he has more than one job? Seems rather common these days. Especially around younger people,” Regulus said with a shrug and returned his attention back to the menu.

Sirius nodded. “You’re probably right,” he mumbled absently, turning his attention now towards the menu he was holding. 

Sirius tried to convince himself that it was none of his business and he should stop caring so much about a stranger but he found himself thinking about the other man over and over again. It was as if he had locked himself into Sirius’ head and had thrown out the key.

“Welcome to Prewett’s. What can I get for you today?” said a voice smooth like whiskey, his accent less prominent than before.

Sirius felt drunk just hearing him talk, could almost taste Remus’ words on his tongue, his pulse quickening. 

His fingers clutched the menu tighter as he lifted his head a little and met Remus’ eyes, still strangers yet Sirius felt himself being irresistibly pulled towards the other man.

Remus’ jaw dropped slightly and Sirius could see his eyes widen. “Mr Black,” he said surprised, stumbling over his own words. A soft blush crept over his nose and cheeks up to his ears. He fumbled with his pen and ran a hand through his curls.

“Remus,” Sirius said softly with a smile. He could feel his own face grow hotter too. 

“I’d take the English breakfast and a black tea with milk and sugar, please,” Sirius said, slowly closing the menu and placing it on the table in front of him without taking his eyes off of Remus.

Remus ducked his head down and scribbled Sirius’ order down before he turned towards Regulus. “And what can I get for you?” he asked.

Regulus scanned the menu one last time before he ordered pancakes with syrup and a black coffee. “Like my soul,” he joked and handed his menu to Remus. 

Remus noted his order with a laugh. “Thank you. I will be back in a moment with your drinks.” 

Then he walked away and shortly returned with their drinks. When he placed Sirius’ cup down, their fingers swiftly touched and Sirius could feel his skin crawl with heat, a breath unwillingly hitching in the back of his throat.

“So that’s the guy you’ve been gushing over? I do have to say, he’s cute and has a great sense of humour. And it seems like he’s happy to see you too. At least judging by the fact that he has not stopped looking over at us. Or rather hasn’t stopped looking at you.” 

Sirius stirred his cup and then took a small sip of tea before he glanced over his shoulder.  
Remus stood by another table and was seemingly taking their order but he was glancing over to their table every now and then. 

When their eyes met, Sirius quickly turned around and pretended to be interested in the contents of his cup, ears turning pink. 

“So what’s your plan, Mr Loverman?” Regulus asked teasingly and picked up his coffee, slowly sipping on it.

Sirius sighed and leaned back in his chair. “I honestly don’t know. I’m not even sure what I’m feeling let alone if I’m ready for, you know… anything, really.”

“Is this still about Marlene? Christ, Sirius, that was years ago. I don’t want to sound rude or anything but you should be over her by now, don’t you think?”

“That’s not what I meant,” Sirius replied quietly. He chewed on the inside of his cheek, thinking quietly and stirring another sugar cube into his tea. Trying to find the right words to describe what he was feeling was frustratingly hard.

“I don’t think I have ever felt anything like this before, Reg. I liked Marlene but the way Remus makes me feel is so different and it scares me.”

Regulus gently kicked Sirius’ shin underneath the table. “Shut it, he’s coming,” he whispered, pointing his chin vaguely to a point behind Sirius’ shoulder.

Sirius sat up straighter and put on a smile just in time for Remus’ arrival at their table. He placed their plates down. “Can I get anything else for you?”

“I’d take an orange juice and another tea for my brother, please,” Regulus said, eyes fixed on Sirius with a quirked smile. 

“Sure.” Remus turned his back on them again and vanished out of Sirius’ sight.  
“What are you doing?” Sirius asked between gritted teeth, daring a short glance over his shoulder. He spotted Remus at the bar and their eyes met again. Sirius quickly turned back around, chugging down the rest of his tea before turning his attention towards his food.

Regulus chuckled. “I’m making sure that my future brother-in-law knows that I am your brother and not your date. A precaution, you might say.” 

Regulus cut a piece of his pancake, dipped it in syrup and slowly started to chew on it. 

“But back to what I was saying before, whatever it is, Sirius, I’m here for you and will help you figure it out as much as I can.” Regulus smiled at him around a mouthful of pancakes.

Sirius scooped up mushrooms and beans on a piece of toast. “Reg, I really love you but I don’t think you have neither the experience nor any other quality that would be in any way helpful,” he said while chewing. “And I, to be honest, don’t want to fuck this up. I’m not going through all of the bullshit again. Please promise me that you’re not going to do anything stupid, okay?”

“I promise but the offer still stands. Shooting your shot might be scary but you won’t regret it. I just know it, Sirius. You deserve good things.”

“Thanks, I appreciate it but please no more Remus talk right now. I don’t want him to accidentally overhear us. Plus, we have so much more to speak about.”

Regulus nodded between bites of pancake. “Sure, let’s talk about something else then. How’s James?” he asked with a smile and Sirius was more than thankful for the change of subject.

The rest of the brunch was spent talking about James and Lily, therapy, and whether or not Sirius would drive up to Edinburgh during the early autumn months to be with their uncle while Regulus visited the rest of the family in Korea. 

Sirius hadn’t seen that part of his family for years and he didn’t intend to change anything about that for the years to come. Especially now that he was an openly queer man. Besides, long plane flights always made him anxious and a jet-lagged Sirius was possibly the worst version of himself.

They both finished their food and drinks. 

“Do you by chance have a pen on you?” Sirius asked his brother, wiping his mouth clean with his napkin. 

Regulus nodded and handed him a silver pen, the metal cool and slick in Sirius’ warm hand. Nervously he grabbed a clean napkin and scribbled down a short message for Remus followed by his phone number. 

“What are you doing?” Regulus asked, leaning over the table to get a better view. “What happened to ‘I don’t want to fuck this up’? Pretty bold, don’t you think?”

Sirius finished jotting his number down and glanced at his brother. “What happened to ‘it might be scary but you won’t regret it’?” he retorted with a grin.

Regulus laughed dryly, rolled his eyes and leaned back in his chair, tapping his fingers against the edge of the table. “Touché,” he said, a sly smile tugging at the corner of his lips. 

“Besides, someone who I pay a lot of money for listening to me rambling about my miserable life, told me that it's all about taking risks. And that’s what I’m going to do now, taking a risk.”

“Therapy’s finally working?” Regulus teased with a smile.

Sirius rolled his eyes and handed him his pen back. “Please don’t make me regret this.”

Regulus laughed. “I would never. I’m proud of you,” he said and gently tapped his foot against Sirius’ leg.

When it was time to pay, Sirius pulled out a handful of extra pound bills and folded the napkin with his number on it and handed both to a startled Remus. “Mr. Black, I can’t take this… not again.” His face was slowly turning red and he helplessly looked over to Regulus who defensively raised his hands.

Sirius got up and shrugged on his jacket, pulling out a cigarette from his pocket and tugging it behind his ear. “If you want to make up for it, call me. And the name’s Sirius, Mr. Black was my father,” he said with a grin and turned to leave. 

“Oh, and by the way,” he turned back towards Remus, “I like guys with accents.”

He quickly turned on his heels before Remus could spot the blush and awfully bright smile that was spreading across his face. 

“That was incredibly smooth, what the fuck,” Regulus said as they walked out of the restaurant. “He’s still looking, that poor kid.” 

Sirius turned to look back but Regulus quickly elbowed him. 

“Stop it. Don’t ruin it, Sirius.”

Sirius pushed the door open with a light-hearted laugh. 

  
**⁂** ****  
  


The wait was pure torture.

After his brunch with Regulus, Sirius had laid on his sofa sprawled out like a starfish, eyes glued to his phone. He didn’t expect Remus to call him as soon as possible, he was still working after all, but he had selfishly hoped for it.

With a groan, he got up and strolled into his kitchen, grabbing a glass from the cabinet and filling it with cold water from the tab. He wasn’t thirsty but it at least kept himself busy for a couple of seconds. Once the glass was empty again, Sirius placed in the sink and walked back over to his living room, turning on the telly just to turn it off again.

After he restlessly moved up and down the stairs, shuffling from room to room, Sirius curled up on the sofa with a glass of whiskey and a book. 

When he looked up from the pages again, it was early afternoon, the sun slowly vanishing behind lush tree tops and roofs. 

Sirius closed the book and placed it on the coffee table in front of him. With a yawn, he stretched his tired limbs and got up, striding over to the balcony and opening up the large doors. 

The air was still warm, filled with the smell of cherry pies and flowers, and the streets to his feet were busy with families and couples. 

Sirius leaned against the bannister and watched the sunset, a soft breeze rustling his hair. The sky above him was painted in golden colours, the last of the daylight casting soft shadows onto the pavement and soon enough, the sky turned purple.

The sound of his ringtone snapped Sirius back to reality. Hurriedly, he pulled out his phone from his back pocket. 

An unknown number. 

Sirius lifted the phone up to his ear and turned on his heels, walking back into his living room. “Please tell me you’re Remus,” he said as he grabbed himself another glass of whiskey. 

There was a laugh at the end of the line, warm and comforting in his ears. Sirius felt his stomach flutter. Was it the alcohol or the sound of Remus’ laugh?

“Yes, it’s me. Sorry, I took so long but I had to work extra hours today.”

Sirius smiled, swirling the whiskey around before taking a sip. “Don’t apologize, not for that. It amazes me how you manage to be a student while having two jobs on the side. Isn’t that exhausting?” 

He sat down on his sofa and propped himself up against two pillows, long legs stretched out.

“You have no idea but I’m afraid I don’t have much of a choice,” Remus replied with a low laugh.

Sirius hummed, biting his lip. 

“I wanted to thank you, by the way,” Remus said after a moment of silence. “For your generous tips. You really didn’t have to do that.”

Sirius couldn’t help but smile. “Don’t thank me, Remus. I have more than enough money and it sounds like you need it more than me anyway.”

“If there’s any way I can repay you…”

“Let me stop you right there,” Sirius chimed in, downing the rest of his whiskey before setting the glass down on the coffee table again. “You don’t have to repay me for anything. But if you really want to, I was thinking about, I don’t know, maybe taking you out for coffee tomorrow? Unless you are secretly a barista too. Then I might have to come up with something else.” He couldn’t help the smug grin that started to spread across his face.

“No, that… that would be great. I’d love that,” Remus said, his accent suddenly heavier again. 

Sirius had observed something similar at the restaurant earlier. It seemed like Remus’ accent got heavier whenever he was nervous but he could also be wrong about that. Either way, he had a date to secure.

“Great. See you tomorrow then?” he asked.

“Yes, see you tomorrow. Good night.”

“Good night, Remus. Sleep well.”

The line was silent but Sirius could still hear Remus breathing on the other side. 

“Don’t you want to hang up?” Sirius asked with a laugh. 

Remus huffed and Sirius imagined him ruffling a hand through his golden curls, the corners of his lips in a small smile. 

“I don’t know. Do you want me to?”

“No, not really.”


	6. Monday

Sirius was insufferable at work to the point where Regulus sent him home early. 

He and Remus had been on the phone late into the night and once he was in bed, Sirius couldn’t bring himself to fall asleep for hours. His entire body was buzzing with excitement, mind running wild with all the possibilities of how their date could go and it had only gotten worse during the past few hours.

Sirius was currently in the shower, Queen blasting from the speaker of his phone. He still had a few hours until he was meeting up with Remus but he had spent thirty minutes pacing around the living room before he decided to take a long, hot shower.

He hadn’t been on a date in years and the nervousness, the anxiety of it actually happening started to slowly settle in.

Sirius squeezed shampoo onto his hands, foaming it up in the palm of his hands before spreading it onto his scalp. He tried to think of anything but Remus. Still, his mind always wandered back to him.

Remus with his golden curls and whiskey-coloured eyes, the freckles that looked like stars, the cut in the corner of his lips, the sound of his laugh, the small septum piercing, his big but gentle hands, the way he said Sirius’ name.

With a sigh, Sirius turned the faucet off, grabbed his towel and dried himself off before putting on a grey pair of sweatpants. After he was done shaving, he left the bathroom and tossed his towel into the laundry basket before he entered the kitchen to grab a snack from the fridge.

It was still early, barely after twelve. Sirius retrieved to the living room where he spent the next handful of hours reading and drinking ungodly amounts of coffee before it was time to pick an outfit and get ready.

Sirius liked to think of himself as a man with great fashion sense. He had hand-tailored suits, dress shirts in all different colours and patterns, shoes for all occasions but nothing he pulled out of his closet seemed to fit. It’s just a coffee date, he silently reminded himself as he put on a pair of jeans, a tight-fitting grey shirt and his favourite pair of heavy boots. He probably wouldn’t need it but he grabbed his leather jacket from the hanger as he headed out the door and into the early evening air.

It was still warm, the sky a bright blue with hints of reds and pink.

The coffee shop was only a few minutes away from Sirius’ place. He took a long drag from his cigarette and blew out the smoke through his nose. He was still nervous and the coffee he had early definitely didn’t help. 

Sirius rounded the corner and spotted Remus in front of the café. He wore jeans and an oversized shirt, exposing his tattooed arms. Sirius stopped in his tracks for a moment, admiring Remus in the afternoon light before he forced his legs to keep walking.

Remus spotted him and waved, a shy yet bright smile on his face.

Sirius snipped his cigarette to the ground and crushed it with his boot before he quickened his pace until he stood right in front of Remus. 

They quietly stared at each other before Remus stepped forward and gave Sirius a shy hug. Sirius felt himself lean closer, hand on the small of Remus’ back, his nose brushing Remus’ curls, breathing in his scent _ — _ shampoo, sugar and spice, acrylic paint.

“Hi,” Sirius whispered, afraid his voice would disturb this tender moment. He wanted to remember it, wanted to be able to recall the feel of Remus’ warm body against his own, the smoothness of his skin, his smell.

Remus cleared his throat and stepped back, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. “Should we, uh, get inside?”

Sirius nodded with a smile, his right hand still placed on the small of Remus’ back, guiding him through the small crowd outside and into the café.

They didn’t talk much while waiting in line but Sirius found himself chasing Remus’ touch and Remus seemed to do the same. 

With their coffee in hand, they stepped back outside. 

“Thanks for paying but you really didn’t have to,” Remus said and took a sip from his cup.

“But I wanted to, this is a date after all. Want to go for a walk to the park? There’s one close by.” 

“Sounds good.”

Sirius nodded and gestured for Remus to follow him, their hands brushing as they walked. Sirius looked at Remus in the corner of his eyes, catching him glancing over every now and then. He could feel a goofy grin spreading across his face and decided to hide it by taking a sip from his coffee

“How was your day?” Remus asked, breaking the silence between them.

“My brother sent me home early from work but other than that,” he answered with a chuckle. “I don’t think I ever had as much free time than I did today. I did spend most of my time drinking coffee which I, in hindsight, regret a little. Falling asleep will be a pain tonight. Yours?”

“Can he just do that? Sending you home, I mean.”

Sirius laughed and took another sip of coffee. “He’s my brother but also my business partner. You probably expect me to defend myself but I was insufferable. It has to be bad if I would have sent myself home too. Trust me, I would have put up a fight otherwise. I don’t work well when I’m nervous, that’s all.” He shrugs and then turns to look at Remus with a smile. “Enough about me and my boring life. How was your day?”

“Nervous? About our date? Gosh, Sirius, I should be nervous and I fucking am! Have you ever looked at yourself? I don’t think I’ve ever been on a date with a bloke as stupidly good-looking as you,” Remus said, ignoring Sirius’ question. 

Sirius snorted, almost spilling coffee on his shirt. “I’m flattered but I haven’t been on a date in years and… I want this to go well. With you, I mean.”

Remus smiled at him, gently nudging Sirius’ side with his elbow before lacing their fingers together. “You’re doing great, don’t worry.”

Around this time of day, the park was busy with little kids playing, couples going for a stroll and teens meeting up with their friends. After a short walk, they found an empty bench by an old oak tree and sat down, their sides pressed together tightly.

Sirius tapped his foot against Remus’ until he turned to look at him. Sirius smiled, eyes tracing Remus’ freckles until he found his golden eyes, stumped on what to do next. 

He wanted to keep listening to Remus, wanted to hold his hand, wanted to kiss him. But he felt like a statue, overwhelmed and unable to move. He had come so far already. He was here with Remus, he was so close yet so far away.

Thankfully, Remus seemed to have enough brain cells for the two of them because he leaned closer, his nose brushing Sirius’ before their lips met and time stood still.

Sirius felt electrified, his body moving on his own. He brought a hand up and cupped Remus’ jaw, thumbing over the smooth skin there. 

Remus’ lips were warm and soft and tasted like coffee and milk and cinnamon. “Come home with me tonight,” Sirius mumbled before reuniting their lips again, his hand sliding from Remus’ jaw into his hair. 

Remus nodded vigorously when he parted their lips to catch his breath.

He looked beautiful in the dawning night. His hair was a mess, lips glistening with salviva, his pupils were blown wide.

The first raindrops fell when they had just left the park. The downpour came moments later. Sirius used his leather jacket to shield them both to the best of his abilities from the rain until they stumbled into the entranceway to his house. Inside, it was warm and Sirius quickly discarded his shoes and jacket by the door, gesturing for Remus to follow him down the hall and into the kitchen.

“Tea?” Sirius asked and grabbed two cups from the cupboard and filled the kettle with water. 

“Sure,” Remus said, leaning against the countertop and watching as Sirius moved around the kitchen.

It felt weird to have someone else other than his brother or close friends around but Sirius didn’t want to spend one more day without Remus being around.

He pulled open the drawer to Remus’ left where he stored his horrendously large tea collection. “Pick whichever one you want. I’d recommend the Scottish breakfast though it’s already a bit late for breakfast tea. The herbal tea is also one of my favourites. It’s my uncle Aplhard’s mix, he sends me down a large batch of it every now and then from Edinburgh.”

Sirius left Remus to decide on a tea and got milk and sugar, placing both down by the cups and then returning to Remus. 

“I’ll try your uncle’s mix then. Question, does everyone in your family have a strange name? I’m starting to see a certain pattern,” Remus said with a chuckle and handed Sirius the blue metal can titled  _ Alphard _ . 

Sirius opened another drawer, rummaging through it and retrieving a tea strainer before he faced Remus again. “Took you long enough,” he laughed. “But yes. Noble names for a noble family.”

They retrieved to the living room, cuddling up on the sofa with the telly playing in the background. Their teacups are quickly forgotten on the coffee table, both too busy chasing each other's touch, skin and lips underneath the blanket Sirius had draped over them.

“I’m usually not like this,” Remus mumbled as he fumbled with the button of Sirius’ jeans with his right hand while the other pushed up the fabric of his shirt. 

Sirius chuckled and pulled his shirt off, crashing his lips against Remus’ in a bruising kiss, pulling him tight against his bare chest. “Neither am I,” Sirius whispered against Remus’ lips, his fingers sneaking below his shirt. “But before we go any further, are you okay with this? Whatever this might turn into, I want you to feel safe around me,” Sirius whispered and pulled back a little, eyes focused on Remus’ face.

“I am but only if you are too,” he replied with a smile, his thumb softly brushing over Sirius’ lower lip.

Sirius nodded lightly, inching his face closer until he kissed Remus again, giving in to the desire and the emotions, the want to be touched and wanting to give back just as much.

They somehow managed to make it up the stairs to the bedroom.    
Remus laid half-naked on the white bedsheets, his shirt barely covering him.

Sirius stood at the foot of the bed, eyes fixed on Remus, trailing the blush on his freckled cheeks down to where it disappeared below the collar of his shirt. He looked perfect like a painting and Sirius felt the strong urge to pin him against the wall.

Remus slowly crawled toward him, hooking his fingers into the belt loops of his jeans and pulled Sirius closer until his knees bumped against the bed frame. “If you don’t get down here, I might have to start without you,” he said.

Sirius grinned and bent down until he was eye to eye with Remus. “What if that’s exactly the plan?” he chuckled before kissing Remus again, picking him up and throwing him back onto the bed, quickly following after him.

He trailed his lips up Remus’ bare leg, eyes locked to his face. “Tell me,” he whispered against his skin, “how do you want it?”

“Surprise me, make me forget it all until I can only think about you.”

And Sirius complied. 

It had been years since he had been in bed with another man but Remus guided him whenever he was unsure, both reassuring the other, taking their sweet time exploring and understanding. 

Sirius barely remembered what sex felt like but nothing came close to what he was feeling right now. 

Sirius took it all in thirstily—every touch, every kiss and every sound, however small, burned into the back of his mind.

It was the first night in a long time where he fell asleep easily, arms tightly wrapped around Remus, nose nuzzled into his hair.


	7. Tuesday

Waking up next to Remus was beautiful. He laid next to Sirius curled into a ball, tightly clutching the blanket to his chest.

It was early, barely 7 am. He could hear the patter of the rain against his windows.

For a moment, Sirius considered calling in sick at work and simply spending the entire day in bed with Remus by his side. He was sure that Regulus would understand but didn’t want to cause his brother any more trouble. 

With a sigh, Sirius got up and took a shower, washing away any remains from last night. While he was brushing his teeth, Sirius admired the hickeys Remus had left on his collarbone and neck. Regulus would kill him if he showed up to work looking like this. 

From somewhere deep in his drawer, Sirius pulled out a tiny bottle of concealer that he liked to use whenever he deemed it necessary. And today was such a day.

Back in the bedroom, Sirius returned to bed and gently woke Remus up, placing a light kiss on his temple. “Hey there, sleeping beauty,” he whispered with a smile.

Remus blinked up at him, rubbing his eyes before sitting up with a yawn.

“Sorry to wake you but I need to be at work in less than an hour and if I’m late again, Regulus will murder me. Should I drop you off somewhere? You could also stay for a little while if you want. I won’t mind,” Sirius offered as he opened his closet and got dressed quickly.

“I should head home. My roommate probably thinks you kidnapped me or something,” Remus joked as he got up and put on his jeans and socks, ruffling a hand through his messy hair.

“I’ll drive you. The weather is shite and I wouldn’t want you to catch a cold.” Sirius closed the final button on his dress shirt and walked across the room where Remus stood, pulling him close and into a tender kiss. “But I might kidnap you later for dinner,” he mumbles, coaxing a laugh out of Remus.

“I don’t think it’s called kidnapping when I agree to it,” Remus corrected, giving Sirius’ nose a peck before heading out the bedroom and down the stairs. 

Sirius followed once he was able to tear his eyes away from Remus’ arse.

They somehow managed to make it into the car after Sirius had reconsidered his decision to go to work multiple times with Remus’ lips and hands all over his body.

“So, what is this? Between us, I mean?” Sirius asked, nervously drumming on the steering wheel while he waited for the lights to turn green.

The rain had gotten worse in the meantime, the sound of it muffled by the music from the radio.

“I don’t know. What do you want this to be?” Remus retorted, looking over from where he sat in the passenger’s seat. His head leaned against the window, one leg up on the seat, fingers drumming on his leg to the beat of the music.

“I… I would really like to get to know you, Remus. The past few weeks I’ve barely been able to think about anything but you and even though I enjoyed last night, I think we should take it a bit slower. All these emotions… I have never felt like this and it scares me a little. If that’s okay for you.”

Remus reached over and placed his hand on Sirius’ thigh with a smile. “I really would like to get to know you too.”

“So dinner tonight?”

Remus nodded. “Dinner sounds more than good.”


	8. Saturday

It was summer again and Sirius laid sprawled out on a blanket underneath a tree, part of his body out in the sun, the other half in the shadow.

Remus sat beside him, his bare feet buried in the long grass of his parents’ backyard. He balanced his sketchbook on his knees, his long fingers cradled a piece of coal and his eyes danced over the page he was slowly filling with drawings.

Sirius rolled onto his back and watched Remus, admiring the curve of his nose and lips, the smudge of coal on his cheek and the slowly fading hickeys on his neck and collarbone. 

The wind rustled through the tree above them, sending the leaves dancing, soft shadows hushing across Remus’ face. 

“What are you drawing?” Sirius asked, reaching his hand out and brushing his fingertips over the soft skin on Remus’ thigh. 

“Nothing,” Remus mumbled, his eyes shortly darting over to Sirius before his eyes settled on his drawing again.

Sirius chuckled and sat up, lacing his arms around Remus until he could glance at the coal-covered page. “Is that me?” he asked, his lips inches away from Remus’ ear. 

Remus quickly shut the book and clutched it to his chest. “I said it was nothing,” he mumbled, an adorable blush on his cheeks.

Sirius laughed softly and placed a kiss on Remus’ cheekbone. “I’m sorry”, he said and cupped Remus’ chin with his fingers, slightly tilting his head until he could press their lips together in a tender kiss.

Remus leaned closer, his lips warm against Sirius’ own. He tasted like cherries and peaches, hints of sun lotion and aftershave.

Sirius moved his hand further down Remus’ back and gently pushed his fingers below Remus’ linen shirt, touching the warm skin, drawing circles on the small of Remus’ back.

Sirius slowly pulled back, eyes wandering over Remus’ face. 

Remus still had his eyes closed, lashes resting softly on his cheekbones, lips parted and in a small smile. His skin was golden from days out in the sun and his freckles sprinkled his face like stars.

Sirius had thought a lot about his feelings over the past few months. The first weeks after he had met Remus had been an emotional rollercoaster. But after the excitement and once normality had returned for them both, Sirius had spent a lot of time thinking about his feelings, talking to Remus about it and going to therapy. 

He had a lot to work through but now he felt like he finally arrived at a place where he could comfortably act on his feelings and the moment just seemed right for him to tell Remus how he truly felt about him.

Sirius brushed his thumb over Remus’ cheek and brushed their noses together softly, placing one last kiss on Remus’ lips before he took a deep breath.

“Remus, I…,” he began but words suddenly stopped existing when Remus’ eyes fluttered open and met his. They looked like the sun, burning bright, leaving Sirius speechless with their beauty.   
“Yes?” Remus said with a smile, lifting up his hand and thumbing over Sirius’ jaw. 

“Words are hard,” Sirius groaned and dropped his head onto Remus’ shoulder. He tried to recall the countless times he had practised what he was going to say to Remus with James and in front of a mirror but whenever he tried to grasp onto a word, it slipped from his fingers.

Remus laced his fingers into Sirius’ hair, gently massaging his scalp. “Take all the time you need. I know how difficult this is for you,” he mumbled, placing a kiss on Sirius’ hair.

“Can I show you?” he asked.

Remus bit his lip and nodded. “I’m all yours,” he whispered.

Sirius gently pressed his lips against Remus’, guiding him until he laid sprawled out on the blanket. Sirius pulled his head back to admire his boyfriend for a split second before kissing him again, his fingers making quick work of the buttons on his shirt. 

Remus’ skin was warm and soft under his touch and Sirius curled his fingers around Remus’ hip. 

He teased him open, explored every inch of him with fingers and lips, admiring the blush that continued to creep over his skin—from his ears to his cheeks and down his neck over his chest.

Pushing into Remus was like coming home and Sirius felt safe out in the garden, Remus’ kisses and his soft moans pulling him in and keeping him close.

His stomach fluttered when their eyes met, an electrifying gaze that made Sirius feel drunk, delirious as if he was dreaming. But the bruising kiss that followed and the heat inside of him that made his skin crawl and ears ring were very much real.

Afterwards, they laid arm in arm and Sirius placed a light kiss on Remus’ curls, his hand slowly moving up and down Remus’ spine, chasing the warmth of his body. 

“And?”

“And what?”

“Found your words again?”

“I’m afraid I have lost them somewhere on your lips. Let me just,” Sirius mumbled and dipped his head down to kiss Remus gingerly. 

Remus chuckled against his lips. “You’re such an idiot.”

Sirius laced his fingers into Remus’ hair with a smile, pulling him even closer. “But I’m your idiot and I… love you,” he said, voice cracking. Sirius felt his heartbeat stop for a split second while he waited for Remus’ reaction. A smile, a nod, anything.

Remus stared at him for a minute, his jaw slightly dropped.

“Say something, please,” Sirius whispered.

His heart was hammering against his ribcage and Sirius feared it would jump out at any moment but when Remus nuzzled his nose against Sirius’ and pressed their lips together for a soft kiss, time stood still.

“I love you too,” Remus mumbled and leaned in for another kiss but Sirius started to giggle, relief rushing over him.

“What’s so funny?” Remus asked, confused but with a smile.

“It’s nothing but when you are loved by someone named Remus John Lupin, the world is your oyster,” Sirius said teasingly, nuzzling his nose into Remus’ curls. His hair smelled like shampoo, clean and fresh, and hints of cinnamon and spice tickled his nose. 

Remus laughed, loud and earth-shaking. “You’re unbelievable,” he mumbled, shaking his head and pulling Sirius into another tender kiss. 

Sirius wrapped his arms around Remus and held him close, lacing his fingers into soft curls, chasing the taste of his own name on Remus’ tongue. 

Sirius felt as if he was walking on clouds but he had never been so down on earth than right here with Remus. 

Remus, a guy who gave incredible massages, was kind and smart, who’s childhood best friend was a sheep named Larry, who turned his world upside down within seconds, and who loved Sirius for who he truly was, however broken he might be. 

Finally, Sirius knew what love felt like—it was like lightning in a bottle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading. Feel free to leave kudos and comments, I appreciate them all very much 🤎
> 
> This fic was so much fun and I really hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

**Author's Note:**

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> 
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